Pulling Back and not Falling Behind

On the trainer during Hurricane Isaac
    My Ironman may be over, but, my triathlon season is not. I still have an Olympic Distance Race in a month (Escape to Miami), a 5K Open water Swim Championship a week after, and, I’m closing out my season with a Half-Ironman (Miami Man) a little over a month after that. I still have about 2.5 months to go in my 2012 triathlon race season and I’m struggling to figure out how to re-tailor my training for these events.

    After racing 112 miles on a mountainous bike course, there is no doubt that the 26 miles of the Olympic course is going to mentally fly by. But, that doesn’t mean that I can just sit back and enjoy the ride if I want to place well. I need to turn up the gear and power through the course hoping that my muscles can handle it. But, can they? In a month from now, will my muscles even really be there anymore? I don’t know.

    It’s hard to force myself to back off of my intense Ironman training in favor of quicker, more intense workouts. I feel like I’m going to lose all the strength that I have gained over the past few months. But, no athlete can continue year-round at such an intense level. Yes, I still need to train hard for my Olympic and Half-Iron races. But, it’s a different sort of training. I need to add more speed work and decrease the amount of pure endurance training. I just hope that I can handle it mentally.

   Right now, I KNOW that I’m still in great shape. But, I fear that I’m going to lose it. I fear that I’m going to go out too hard with the endurance base no longer there to back me up. And, that fear is what, I think ultimately, could be my biggest hindrance in doing well in my upcoming races.

So, I've created a new plan....I'm going to work hard to overcome this fear by mentally leaving my Ironman behind.  For now, my upcoming races need to be the focus of my season, and not the race that has already come and gone.   We shall see how it goes.  Although, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated...

I've Got the Ironman Blues

    It was Saturday night and I was about 1 mile away from the finish line of my very first Ironman distance race. I was exhausted and in pain but the finish line was so close. It was then that the very first feeling of true sadness set in.

    For the last year I had thought about nothing but Ironman. It was exactly one year since I had registered for the race. It was about half a year since I had first started my dedicated training. And now, I was less than ten minutes from the finish line of what, at some points, had seemed like an insurmountable dream. But it wasn’t insurmountable because I had made it. I had dreamed and I had accomplished. And yet I felt crushed inside.

    Accomplishing a dream produces such a strange inner reaction. Yes, I was proud and relieved to have had made it to the finish line after 140.6 miles of agony. But, I was so sad it was all over. I had spent the last year imagining the moment I crossed that finish line. I had spent the last six months dedicating my physical being to becoming an Ironman. The journey was long and torturous but I had loved it. I had loved my long weekend bike rides. I had loved having a real valid reason for being exhausted at work. I had loved my long course weekend swim. I had loved the ups, the downs, and everything in-between. The Ironman dream had become how I defined myself to the world. And now, it was over.

    In the week since my race I’ve thought a lot about where I’ll go in my life now that I have my Ironman tattoo. For many people, they see the Ironman race as a triathlon career peak. They do it once and then revert back to the people they were pre-Ironman. But, I have never been the sort of person to create a goal and to leave it behind once it is accomplished. I am a lifelong athlete with the innate desire to constantly push myself towards the next challenge.

    So I am not done with Ironman. I can swim faster. I can bike stronger. I can run harder. I can do better and I know it. To some, I may seem sick inside for having the inability to let myself revel in my accomplishment. But, that’s what makes me a true athlete.

    I know that there can never again be a “first Ironman” for me. I definitely appreciate that fact in the depths of my heart. It was an amazing experience and I will remember crossing that finish line forever. But, this race was “A” highlight of my triathlon career and not “THE” highlight.” I just can’t let it be “THE” highlight. Otherwise, what would be the point of continuing on? What would be the motivation to get out of bed in the morning if I knew in my heart that it was all downhill from here?

    I’m sorry, but I’ll never be done. I’ll never have enough. I’m a competitive athlete all the way down to the very core of my soul. Take away my need to compete and I’ll cease to exist. And so, as always, the dreaming continues…forever and ever.

“Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.” 
 -Anais Nin

For all of you out there who felt like me after their first Ironman...know that your not alone. The need to compete with yourself-constantly craving the next challenge-is part of who you are.  Embrace it.

Now, let me turn my focus to the remainder of my season and eventually onto Ironman Texas 2013.  

RACE REPORT: Ironman U.S. Championship NYC

    So, the inaugural Ironman US Championship in New York City came and went and now, I’m an official IRONMAN! The weekend was full of ups and downs as there was A LOT of drama surround the event itself. However, for now, I’m just going to focus on reporting on my own race experience and will save my overall event commentary for another time.

RACE BREAKDOWN:

The Swim:
Swim Split: 43:46
About to Enter the Water
    At 6:30am I got shuttled from transition onto a ferry which took me about 2.5miles upstream to the swim start. From the ferry, I got dropped onto a barge where I walked down a ramp and straight into the water to begin my 140.6 mile journey. I had a great time chit-chatting with other participants on the ferry, but once we loaded onto that barge, I barely had time to contemplate what was about to happen before I found myself forced into the water. Because I was in the first boat, I was standing on the barge when the initial race cannon went off. And then, I headed down to the about 50 people behind the first entrant.
    So many people had made comments both joking and non-joking about the cleanliness of the Hudson Swim (especially after the reported sewage dump into the river the day before the race.) However, I really enjoyed the swim portion of the event and thought the whole way about how I wished I could stay in the water for even longer. The water was murky but, honestly, I’ve definitely swam in worse. In fact, I’m almost positive that my local community 4 lane 25-yard pool that’s filled with a million peeing children and floating hairballs everywhere during the summer is more disgusting than that Hudson swim.
    In all, I had a great swim. Admittedly, my wetsuit and the strong Hudson current were largely to blame. To be honest, although I really wanted to put a large effort forth on the swim, I don’t think that I wound up pushing myself very hard. The arms of my wetsuit restricted my arm movement to some extent and I couldn’t really speed up my pace by much as a result. Nonetheless, I wound up beating several of the pro athletes out of the water to become the first Age Group Female Athlete to T-1.

Transition #1:
T-1 Split: 3:33
Exiting T-1 to the Bike Course
This was my favorite moment of the whole race. It was so exiting being the first Female out of the water. Everyone was screaming for me and I had a whole tent of volunteers just standing there trying to help me. I got assistance ripping my wetsuit off and then lost my Bike Gear bag for a minute. But, as there was nobody else really around to stumble into, I wound up getting out of T-1 and onto the bike course pretty quickly.

The Bike:
Bike Split:7:08:39
    Ugh. Where do I begin… my bike was just riddled with problems and challenges. The first steep incline was right out of transition. Surprisingly though, I didn’t have a very hard time with this climb since I had conserved a great amount on the swim. I made it up that first hill without any real struggle. However, as we approached the top, we had to make a sharp right which caused me to have to lean on my brakes. For the next 25 miles or so I truly exhausted myself and wasn’t even going very fast. I had no idea why until I finally stopped by the side of the road to make sure that my tire wasn’t flat. No, my tire wasn’t flat. However, when I had first leaned on my brake, my back brake pads had apparently gotten stuck to my back wheel . I had spent the last 25 miles burning out my legs while biking with my back brake clamped on my wheel.
Looking better than I felt on the Bike Course
    I was a bit upset and defeated as I had exhausted myself for no reason while simultaneously having half the race participants go flying by me. But, the damage was done and there was little I could do besides keep an eye on that back break and trek onwards.
    I’m actually pretty proud of myself for not letting that issue really get to me. Yes, it had severely damaged my overall placement in the race but deep down I knew it wasn’t the end of the world. I was going to finish that bike course no matter how long it would take me.
    From then on I tried not to burn out my legs anymore. After all, I had lost any lead that I had out of the swim. I made the conscious decision to let go of my dream of placing highly and shifted my focus onto just making it through the event.
    As for the bike course itself, it was extremely mountainous and just not meant for Miami folk, like myself, to really be able to excel on. I don’t think there was a single mile of flat land anywhere in that 56-mile loop. So, even had I not had any technical issues, I am positive I would have struggled later on anyways. I just wasn’t prepared for a course that challenging. But, being from Miami, I don’t think that there was any real way I could have prepared myself any better for that course. We just don’t have the resources down here necessary to do so.
    Nevertheless, I made it through the strenuous bike course even with mountains, technical issues, and several lost water bottles. And not once did I lose hope on finishing that race. All I wanted was to get to the end of that bike so I could finally stand up again. But, I never wanted to give up entirely.

Transition #2:
T-2 Split: 6:56
 I didn’t move fast, I didn’t move slow, I just focused on getting on my gear and making sure I spotted my boyfriend and parents on the way out. I didn’t even dread the 26.2 mile marathon run that lay before me. I was smiling and excited to have made it through he bike. I even gave my boyfriend a “high-5” on the way out of transition.

The Run:
Run Split: 5:39:43

The Run (NJ Side)
    As hard as the bike course was, the run course was even worse. But, as challenging as the course was, for the first 10 miles or so, I didn’t even care. I was just SO THRILLED to be off the bike that I couldn’t care less that I was running. I was in great spirits and knew, that although it was going to take me a while, there was absolutely no way that I wouldn’t finish this race.
Super pumped to be off that damn Bike
    My run speed was slow and I walked up some of the more intense hills at the beginning in an effort to conserve for the remainder of the race. I also focused on drinking at every aid station and on getting some natural sugars into my body by way of the aid station orange slices.
    There were aid stations at almost every mile on the run and I, personally, thought all the volunteers were extremely helpful. Yes, there was a slight lack of cold water available without mixing the ice and water cups together. But, cold water upsets my stomach anyways. So I’d rather have the choice of drinking cold water than be forced to do it.
    The first 6 mile run loop went by rather quickly and the second loop was a bit more challenging (especially since we had to climb back up the giant cliff in order to get to the bridge that crossed over to Manhattan). I also noticed after a while that my run speed going uphill was pretty much equal to my uphill walking speed. So, I walked a big portion of the uphill climb. After all, I still had about 10 miles left in the race.

The Run (NY Side):
    It was really exciting to cross over the GW Bridge into Manhattan because, although we still had a long ways to go, we were at least in the same state as the finish line. However, after the excitement wore off, the pain started to increase. My running pace started to decline as I got severe pain in the bottoms of my feet and in my knees. It was a type of pain that I’ve never before experienced. I literally felt like all the bones in the base of my feet had been shattered. Each step was more painful than the next. I started to waddle even when I walked.

Finally making it to the Finish
Regardless of the pain (which I attribute to the extreme hardness of New York City pavement to which my feet are not accustomed), I never once gave up hope. I did walk. But I tried to stick to my mental plan. I took each mile one at a time from mile 18 onwards. I would look at my watch, walk about .2 miles and then try to run to the next mile marker. Sometimes I would stop to walk through the aid stations, but I would always pick up running (albeit a slow run) to the next marker. 19, 20, 21, 22, 23….each mile marker sign came and went and before I knew it, I only had about a 5k left to go.
    The pain in my feet never subsided, but, I continued to push forwards. I wound up picking up my pace in the last 3 miles and had the mental goal to really start to move the second I saw that 24 mile marker sign. I saw the sign, walked up the hill to the top of the park, and then off I went. I gradually increased my pace until I finally saw the 25 marker sign up ahead and by that time I was sprinting almost as fast as my legs could move by then (it wasn’t a full-blown sprint though because I was afraid I’d trip myself or something). But, nonetheless I sprinted. I sprinted through the trees, under the overpass, past the final aid station, around the corner back into Riverside Park, up a small incline, passed a ton of people, and down the chute to the finish line.

   And...that was it...Thirteen hours, Forty Two Minutes and Thirty-Seven Seconds after I went into the water, I was done. I somehow felt like, even in all that time I had held back.  I didn't lay it all on the line.  But, I was an Ironman. And, it was AWESOME.


I'm an IRONMAN!!! Now, when is my next one?!?!?

THIS IS IT!

    THIS IS IT! THE DAY IS ALMOST HERE! My bike is on its way via Tri Bike Transport. All my gear is packed strategically in my swim bag. All my training had concluded. And now, I’m only 2.5 days, 2.2 miserable night’s sleep (I added the .2 for my ‘sleep’ before my 2:30am wakeup on race day,) 1 plane flight, and 1 easy workout away from the Ironman U.S. Championships in New York City. I’m a little bit scared. I’m sorta nervous. But, I’m sure excited.

    I’ve been training for nearly 6 months for a single race so there is a lot of pressure to do well on race day. But then again, what does ‘well’ even mean? Questions have recently popped into my mind regarding this race that I have tried to ignore answering for far too long this season: What are my goals for this race? What are my expectations of my performance? What is my strategic race plan regarding pacing? Do I even have such a plan?

    And now, with the race only a few short days away, I can’t ignore these questions any longer. I need to confront my fear and concoct SOME SORT of a race plan. So, here it is…

Overall Race Goal: 
To finish my very first Full Ironman Race and be proud of it. I’m a SUPER competitive person and I, admittedly, HATE losing. Deep down I know that I will look back at this race and see all my mistakes and failures before I will acknowledge my accomplishment. I’m hard on myself. I know that. But, my overall race goal is, ultimately, just to finish. Saturday isn’t the day to take large race risks or to go out hard hoping that I can just hold on. Saturday is the day for pushing myself comfortably (well, as comfortable as I could be in a 12hr race) across the finish line and knowing that my next Ironman race will be the race where I can really test my limits. I just have to get my Ironman tattoo and then all bets are off.

The Swim: 
 Okay, so I know I JUST said that I wasn’t going to go out too hard. BUT, the swim will be my exception to this rule. I’m a swimmer and I’ve been feeling fantastic in the water. I also JUST swam a 5k Long Course for time so I know both that my pacing is spot-on and that I can bounce back very quickly from a hard swim. Like Ironman 70.3 Florida, I plan to take this swim out relatively hard. Swimming is my advantage and I will try to do the best I can with it. I know that I’ll be a bit tired for the Swim/Run Transition to the Bike. But, a few minutes into the bike and I know that I’ll be back to normal. So, the plan is to take out the swim moderate to hard and to rely on my training for a fast post-swim recovery.

The Transitions: 
Smooth and Well-executed. Once I leave transition I’ll be gone for a VERY LONG time. So, I need to worry less about the speed of my transitions and instead to be very thorough in my preparation for the next leg of the race. I can’t leave anything I need behind…even if it means losing a minute or two.

The Bike: 
 Smooth and steady on the first lap and focus mentally to push a bit harder through the second lap. I don’t know the bike course AT ALL. I know, roughly, how tall the hills are and where they are. But, this is brand new terrain for me. I need to take the first lap out comfortably to just get to see the bike course before I will be able to figure out how hard I can push the second lap. My biggest goal is to not take the first lap out so hard that I spend the next six hours slowly dying. I want to spend the first 56 miles at a comfortable pace and to see how much I have left in the tank for the second loop once I know how challenging those hills are. 

The Run: 
 My only real goal here is just to finish and to stay mentally positive without any real concern for my pace. The run course looks extremely challenging (although beautiful). And, I’m not 100% confident in my present run training. Regardless though, no matter how much training I did for this run, it’s definitely going to hurt A LOT. So, I plan to just enjoy the scenery and take solace in the fact that, by that point, I’ll almost be an Ironman.

And, there it is. It’s not a super-confusing or overly thought-out race plan. But, it’s something to at least show that I have put some thought into my performance on Saturday. And that’s all I’ve really got to say…

If you’d like to track me on Saturday during the race, you can do so at Ironman Live by entering my bib number (#481). Thanks for all your good luck wishes and support thusfar and...
SEE YOU AT THE FINISH LINE!!!